This 5 year old birthday for Xander feels like the end of something.  The end of babyhood, although he’s been a big boy for a while I guess.  As I strolled through Walmart with him today I glanced over at the baby section and it suddenly hit me:  I don’t have a reason to go to that corner of the store anymore.  And I won’t again.  I don’t have babies anymore, I have big kids.

Five years ago today we went from a family of 3 to 4 and Xander completed us.  I remember that morning 5 years ago, leaving the house before the sun rose, anticipating meeting my son for the first time.  I looked in the mirror at myself and Jonathan’s reflection and said, “Let’s go have a baby.”

As soon as they delivered him my sister in law said, “Oh he looks just like Rayna!”

Rayna wasn’t so sure about him at first.  But she warmed up to him after a few hours.  I’m not sure if he just wasn’t what she expected but soon she was very proud of her little brother.

I was always terrified of having a boy.  I didn’t know what to do with boys.  They were loud, rowdy, dirty and gross.  My boy may be those things at times, but he’s mine and I can’t imagine my life without him.  He loves his mama like no other, and I love him {and Rayna} so much that sometimes it brings me to tears.  All you mamas out there might know what I’m talking about.

So although most of these pictures are bad quality and not very good or artistic shots, I hope you enjoyed seeing my baby grow into a boy.  :)